18 Things You May Not Know About Chuck Norris

18 Things You May Not Know About Chuck Norris
1. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
2. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
4. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
5. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his
left and right legs.
6. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
7. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
8. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
9. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himselfin the back of the head. 10. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
11. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
12. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
13. Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every
answer.
14. Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck
Norris is Chuck Norris
15. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
16. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an
orphanage.
17. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be seconds away from death.
18. Apparently Chuck Norris is a solid Christian. Kick Ass!