6th Grader
posted by Steve at 11:02 AM
3 comments
Friday, May 26, 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
Who the .... cares? We do...
Britney Spears Stumbles, Nearly Drops Baby
When a ditzy, redneck, manufactured pop icon makes the news for almost dropping her kid because she tripped on her designer pants, something is SERIOUSLY wrong with the world and the media. The reality is (how you like that one Tim!) that it’s not even Brittany Spears fault. Do you think she could even remotely conjure up her celebrity status? I don’t even think she could spell her name, much less sell millions of records. No, it’s not Brittany’s fault. This is the fault of the American people! God bless us…
We want to see Brittany or Michael Jackson drop their kids. We want to hear about famous people flipping out and joining cults or having silent births (yeah, right) or having affairs and marrying each other’s spouses. We’re addicted to this crap. We’d rather hear about the newest bullcrap with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt than who died in the war or in Sao Paulo during the recent police riots. Who cares about how many people died in Darfur or how many people are starving worldwide. We want to know what’s happening with pretty people who act out characters in movies or TV or play and sing music (or try to do either).
I’m sure there is a million reasons why this is the case but I think it ultimately comes down to the fact that we always want what we can’t have and because we can’t have it, we feel entitled to be a part of it ANY WAY WE CAN. We want to be rich and famous. We want to have beautiful people to have sex with anytime we want. We want status and power and freedom. And if we can’t have that, then damn it, we want to know every detail of “their” lives in return! It’s our right as the poor and middle class. Right?
I’m here to tell you that this is all a lie. The media is lying to us. It’s not what it appears to be. Life is not better “on the other side”. They take our money and feed us complete crap. There is no choice. If you are alive and breathing you get force fed this mindless drama everyday. You WILL get your daily dose of violence from TV or rap music. You will get your daily dose of nudity and skin while checking your e-mails. You WILL get your daily dose of drama-ridden nonsense about actors, musicians and famous business people behaving badly. And you’ll like it! Sure, you might want to turn the channel, but you won’t. You’ll sit there on the couch and wish you had their lives. You’ll ask yourself again and again what you did wrong to have a 9-5 and not be on the French Riviera with a bottle of expensive wine, a Gucci model (who’s name is Keena, of course) and 20 reporters in helicopters circling above trying to get a picture of your bare ass.
The point is that I think it’s gone WAY, WAY too far. In my opinion (and in the opinion of many more educated people than I) we will NEVER grow as a peaceful and more intelligent society unless we send a message to mainstream media that there are many more important things in the world than Brittany, her baby and that goofy white rapper she married.
In the words of the future-seeing Edward R. Murrow:
“If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ in color for a full hour, there would be a considerable number of stations which would decline to carry it on the grounds that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.”
They say, “any press is good press”. Brittany, you just got your for the week. You’re now back our thoughts for ahwile. What a mastermind you are!
Good Night and Good Luck,
-Steve
When a ditzy, redneck, manufactured pop icon makes the news for almost dropping her kid because she tripped on her designer pants, something is SERIOUSLY wrong with the world and the media. The reality is (how you like that one Tim!) that it’s not even Brittany Spears fault. Do you think she could even remotely conjure up her celebrity status? I don’t even think she could spell her name, much less sell millions of records. No, it’s not Brittany’s fault. This is the fault of the American people! God bless us…
We want to see Brittany or Michael Jackson drop their kids. We want to hear about famous people flipping out and joining cults or having silent births (yeah, right) or having affairs and marrying each other’s spouses. We’re addicted to this crap. We’d rather hear about the newest bullcrap with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt than who died in the war or in Sao Paulo during the recent police riots. Who cares about how many people died in Darfur or how many people are starving worldwide. We want to know what’s happening with pretty people who act out characters in movies or TV or play and sing music (or try to do either).
I’m sure there is a million reasons why this is the case but I think it ultimately comes down to the fact that we always want what we can’t have and because we can’t have it, we feel entitled to be a part of it ANY WAY WE CAN. We want to be rich and famous. We want to have beautiful people to have sex with anytime we want. We want status and power and freedom. And if we can’t have that, then damn it, we want to know every detail of “their” lives in return! It’s our right as the poor and middle class. Right?
I’m here to tell you that this is all a lie. The media is lying to us. It’s not what it appears to be. Life is not better “on the other side”. They take our money and feed us complete crap. There is no choice. If you are alive and breathing you get force fed this mindless drama everyday. You WILL get your daily dose of violence from TV or rap music. You will get your daily dose of nudity and skin while checking your e-mails. You WILL get your daily dose of drama-ridden nonsense about actors, musicians and famous business people behaving badly. And you’ll like it! Sure, you might want to turn the channel, but you won’t. You’ll sit there on the couch and wish you had their lives. You’ll ask yourself again and again what you did wrong to have a 9-5 and not be on the French Riviera with a bottle of expensive wine, a Gucci model (who’s name is Keena, of course) and 20 reporters in helicopters circling above trying to get a picture of your bare ass.
The point is that I think it’s gone WAY, WAY too far. In my opinion (and in the opinion of many more educated people than I) we will NEVER grow as a peaceful and more intelligent society unless we send a message to mainstream media that there are many more important things in the world than Brittany, her baby and that goofy white rapper she married.
In the words of the future-seeing Edward R. Murrow:
“If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ in color for a full hour, there would be a considerable number of stations which would decline to carry it on the grounds that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.”
They say, “any press is good press”. Brittany, you just got your for the week. You’re now back our thoughts for ahwile. What a mastermind you are!
Good Night and Good Luck,
-Steve
posted by Steve at 2:02 PM
2 comments
Monday, May 15, 2006
Amazing to hear this from the biggest rock star since Lennon, huh?
posted by Steve at 12:03 PM
0 comments
Oh boy! A book about an apparent Christian, bisexual turned fully gay, ex boyband member!
I Say a Little Prayer: A Novel
I guess this stuff actually sells? I don't get it. Anyway, here are 10 Reasons why it just doesn't add up...
#1 Who would ever care to read about an apparent Christian, bisexual turned fully gay, ex boyband member and current owner of a company called Cute Boy Card Company?
I'm guessing it would be other apparent Christian, bisexual turned fully gay, ex boyband members and current owners of gay card companies. I think there are approximately 3 of them in the world. This book is gonna sell like hotcakes!
#2 Who would name their company Cute Boy Card Company?
Oh, right, an apparent Christian, bisexual turned fully gay, ex boyband member, of course.
#3 Who cares what the age of the of the "down low" is?
I'm trying not to imagine.
#4 Who is really named "D"?
And who cares?
#5 How did gay Chauncey get to sing in fundamentalist church?
Oh, right, he's an apparent Christian, bisexual turned fully gay, ex boyband member so being gay doesnÂt matter. As long as the guy can sing like an angel (a gay angel, of couse).
#6 How could a fundamentalist preacher's sermons spawn our gay hero, Chauncey Greer, to write songs for his former lover?
Could the preacher have been a hottie? Could there have been a hot worship leader? These questions and more are just waiting to be discovered! Order your copy of this amazing novel about an apparent Christian, bisexual turned fully gay, ex boyband member and current owners of gay card company now!
#7 How long did our gay hero attend the fundamentalist preacher's church?
It must have only been the one Sunday he sang because I can't imagine the good preacher being all cool and liberal on everything but gay marriage? This is just starting to get annoying now.
#8 The Church has homophobia?
What? Liars shall have no part in the Kingdom of God! Or is that homosexuals. Maybe it's everyone? Oh I forget. I'll check my current copy of Charisma Magazine.
#9 There are other gay members of the fundamentalist church?
Why didn't these guys try the Methodists?
#10 Women ask too many questions?
And men don't?
Bonus reason why it doesn't make sense!
#11 Why did I spend the time writing these questions out?
I have no absolutely no answer to this...At all...)
-Steve
I guess this stuff actually sells? I don't get it. Anyway, here are 10 Reasons why it just doesn't add up...
#1 Who would ever care to read about an apparent Christian, bisexual turned fully gay, ex boyband member and current owner of a company called Cute Boy Card Company?
I'm guessing it would be other apparent Christian, bisexual turned fully gay, ex boyband members and current owners of gay card companies. I think there are approximately 3 of them in the world. This book is gonna sell like hotcakes!
#2 Who would name their company Cute Boy Card Company?
Oh, right, an apparent Christian, bisexual turned fully gay, ex boyband member, of course.
#3 Who cares what the age of the of the "down low" is?
I'm trying not to imagine.
#4 Who is really named "D"?
And who cares?
#5 How did gay Chauncey get to sing in fundamentalist church?
Oh, right, he's an apparent Christian, bisexual turned fully gay, ex boyband member so being gay doesnÂt matter. As long as the guy can sing like an angel (a gay angel, of couse).
#6 How could a fundamentalist preacher's sermons spawn our gay hero, Chauncey Greer, to write songs for his former lover?
Could the preacher have been a hottie? Could there have been a hot worship leader? These questions and more are just waiting to be discovered! Order your copy of this amazing novel about an apparent Christian, bisexual turned fully gay, ex boyband member and current owners of gay card company now!
#7 How long did our gay hero attend the fundamentalist preacher's church?
It must have only been the one Sunday he sang because I can't imagine the good preacher being all cool and liberal on everything but gay marriage? This is just starting to get annoying now.
#8 The Church has homophobia?
What? Liars shall have no part in the Kingdom of God! Or is that homosexuals. Maybe it's everyone? Oh I forget. I'll check my current copy of Charisma Magazine.
#9 There are other gay members of the fundamentalist church?
Why didn't these guys try the Methodists?
#10 Women ask too many questions?
And men don't?
Bonus reason why it doesn't make sense!
#11 Why did I spend the time writing these questions out?
I have no absolutely no answer to this...At all...)
-Steve
posted by Steve at 10:09 AM
2 comments
Friday, May 12, 2006
Absolutely AWESOME!
I Wanna Love You Tender
We watched this video last night and thought about quitting our jobs and going into show-business (after we laughed so hard we threw up, of course). You're gonna love it.
Armi and Danny are Finnish singing sensations in Finland! I read that Armi died from drinking too much, but Danny still does his thing. You can visit his official website http://www.danny.fi (fi is cool. I want a Finnish website too!)
The thing is, as much as I laugh at this stuff, these people made it happen. They made a living off of music (no matter how gay it was or how many people they had to sleep with to get it). Seriously, you gotta give them some credit for this. Now if I could only get a Danny looking ass and that cool low cut shirt, maybe I could be a Finnish star!
-Steve
posted by Steve at 9:49 AM
2 comments
Ouch! Perfect example of why kids grow up to be on Jerry Springer! REMIX!
posted by Steve at 9:43 AM
1 comments
Monday, May 01, 2006
I don’t know what it’s like to be happy.
I mean really happy. I mean happy without conditions. Without money or more square footage or a savings. I’m talking about true happiness that gives you the permission to dance like a stupid white person at concerts, happiness that isn’t affected by weather or emotion or even by death. Sure, I’m happy when I see my baby smile or my wife in a low cut shirt, but now we're back to conditions, right? I’m beginning to think that I just don’t get the “happy thing.” I’m talking about the kind of happy that those rich kids in the East village or Williamsburg seem to have. Or the happiness that makes people live with an almost painted smile. Or the apparent happiness that old people have. Or the happiness that rural America seems to feel about their small town football team.
Rural America LOVES the football team. They smile and treat them in an almost celebrity status. They seem truly happy to have them. The players and the coaches! They write about them in the paper. They cheer fro them at games. They interview the team. They make calendars with their pictures at Kinko’s and sell them for new uniforms, which seemingly promotes even MORE happiness for future generations. Everyone in the town seems to go to bed with a sense of accomplishment and pride. They wake up knowing that the fields are still there (and in need of plowing), the kids are safe at school, and the football team is playing the Eagles from Des Moines tonight. I guess I could possibly understand this happiness, but only if the game was on a crisp autumn night (since the summer makes me unhappy), I was uber-popular, I was dating the cheerleading captain, I had money and fast car. But you see, there it is again, I can’t be freakin’ happy without conditions. Things attached.
Jesus said true happiness was possible. The Dali Lama says it’s possible. Gandhi said it is possible. Mother Teresa said it is possible. All these people say that happiness is possible yet I can’t seem to get a grip on it. I’m beginning to think that true happiness might only be possible in cases of extreme hardship and poverty. And can only be found when you're old, wise, holy and living in a third world country (and in small town with a football team, of course).
I call myself a Christian. As a Christ-tian I think the whole point is to follow the teachings of Christ in hopes that it makes you happy which in turn changes the world for the better, right? If this is true, then why are we not happy? More to the point, why am I not happy, damn it!
-Steve
Rural America LOVES the football team. They smile and treat them in an almost celebrity status. They seem truly happy to have them. The players and the coaches! They write about them in the paper. They cheer fro them at games. They interview the team. They make calendars with their pictures at Kinko’s and sell them for new uniforms, which seemingly promotes even MORE happiness for future generations. Everyone in the town seems to go to bed with a sense of accomplishment and pride. They wake up knowing that the fields are still there (and in need of plowing), the kids are safe at school, and the football team is playing the Eagles from Des Moines tonight. I guess I could possibly understand this happiness, but only if the game was on a crisp autumn night (since the summer makes me unhappy), I was uber-popular, I was dating the cheerleading captain, I had money and fast car. But you see, there it is again, I can’t be freakin’ happy without conditions. Things attached.
Jesus said true happiness was possible. The Dali Lama says it’s possible. Gandhi said it is possible. Mother Teresa said it is possible. All these people say that happiness is possible yet I can’t seem to get a grip on it. I’m beginning to think that true happiness might only be possible in cases of extreme hardship and poverty. And can only be found when you're old, wise, holy and living in a third world country (and in small town with a football team, of course).
I call myself a Christian. As a Christ-tian I think the whole point is to follow the teachings of Christ in hopes that it makes you happy which in turn changes the world for the better, right? If this is true, then why are we not happy? More to the point, why am I not happy, damn it!
-Steve
posted by Steve at 2:18 PM
2 comments
